I must say that my heart is racing as each new day progresses. I've been here for almost five months, and it will be only less than three weeks that I will be returning home. Home for so long was a place I wanted out of, yet now I desperately long for. I have never been so home sick. As Micheal Buble puts it, "Another winter day has come/And gone away/In even Paris and Rome/And I wanna go home/Let me go home/And I’m surrounded by/A million people I/Still feel all alone/Oh, let me go home/Oh, I miss you, you know/Let me go home/I’ve had my run/Baby, I’m done/I gotta go home/Let me go home/It will all be all right/I’ll be home tonight/I’m coming back home."
I couldn't have said it any better. I'm coming back home, it will all be alright...yet why is it that there is still a part of me that quivers at the very thought of it. It might be becasue I am starting a journey that is so different than the one that I had when I was home 5 months ago. I am so different now. I see things so much more clearly...and that just might be it. It may be that I am so hurt by all that I do see. All the destruction and the despair. All the things that I've been hearing on my fellow peers breaks my heart as I see that they have chosen death versus LIFE. That would have been me...
But now I'm coming home and who I am today is not the same from who I was yesterday. Something about me changed in that day and now as I am living this life of Christ, I am one more step closer to Him. Sure I'll take steps backward a time or two, but He'll always come to me and meet me where I am at just to take me back home. To him.
So, here I am. My heart and arms open wide-running to Him. I know that he is going to give me the strength to face what tore me down before everyday. I am willing to be his sacrifice. To serve him day in and day out. I am willing and crying, "HERE I AM LORD, SEND ME." And so he has begun.
Where he is sending me isn't to Africa. It isn't a missions trip outside of the states. Where He is sending me...
is home.
