I must say that my heart is racing as each new day progresses. I've been here for almost five months, and it will be only less than three weeks that I will be returning home. Home for so long was a place I wanted out of, yet now I desperately long for. I have never been so home sick. As Micheal Buble puts it, "Another winter day has come/And gone away/In even Paris and Rome/And I wanna go home/Let me go home/And I’m surrounded by/A million people I/Still feel all alone/Oh, let me go home/Oh, I miss you, you know/Let me go home/I’ve had my run/Baby, I’m done/I gotta go home/Let me go home/It will all be all right/I’ll be home tonight/I’m coming back home."
I couldn't have said it any better. I'm coming back home, it will all be alright...yet why is it that there is still a part of me that quivers at the very thought of it. It might be becasue I am starting a journey that is so different than the one that I had when I was home 5 months ago. I am so different now. I see things so much more clearly...and that just might be it. It may be that I am so hurt by all that I do see. All the destruction and the despair. All the things that I've been hearing on my fellow peers breaks my heart as I see that they have chosen death versus LIFE. That would have been me...
But now I'm coming home and who I am today is not the same from who I was yesterday. Something about me changed in that day and now as I am living this life of Christ, I am one more step closer to Him. Sure I'll take steps backward a time or two, but He'll always come to me and meet me where I am at just to take me back home. To him.
So, here I am. My heart and arms open wide-running to Him. I know that he is going to give me the strength to face what tore me down before everyday. I am willing to be his sacrifice. To serve him day in and day out. I am willing and crying, "HERE I AM LORD, SEND ME." And so he has begun.
Where he is sending me isn't to Africa. It isn't a missions trip outside of the states. Where He is sending me...
is home.
3 comments:
I long for your return as Christ's new creation. You are as a daughter to me. I can't wait to embrace the new you. To love you unconditionally as Christ does us. We can hang out and talk all day. Love and miss you Mel
The picture you chose reminded us of Ireland. Ahhhh.
Once again, the song you chose we hope rings true once you get home and are there for a while. It's ever appealing while we're gone and too easy to get into the trap of annoyance/irritability once we return to the place, called home, which offers unconditional love through your parents.
We're praying for you and your Mom and Dad as you continue this new life in Christ.
Do you remember this Selah song? All OF ME (Words and music by Terry Wade Haynes)
Holy Father, love me still
I have falled from Your will
I am broken
Hear my humble cry
My cry.
I have wandered for so long
Tired and weary on my own
In Your arms I know I'm home,
O God
My God
Take my life and make it Yours, Lord
Fill me with Your love
You are all I need
I surrender all of me
Take my life and make it Yours, Lord
Fill me with you love
You are all I need
I surrender
I surrender
I surrender all of me.
What a promise of love.
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